PN: I chose to disclose the following info because they’re not classified info that can threaten national security. I assume, furthermore, that barely a few would be interested to read what I’ve posted. Lucky for me, you like wasting your time, yey!
So here it is, my useless list of happy childhood memories: (clap clap clap clap)
1. Did you know that I’m claiming to be a miracle baby? It’s a tedious story to tell, so just take it as it is.
2. When I was around 4-6, whenever somebody would ask me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I would happily blurt out, “Gusto ko pong mag-asawa!” That was my first ambition.
3. My first crush was way back in my junior kinder whom we shall name Crush#1. He was just white and cute. We had to fall in line by height and sadly, he wasn’t my partner (partners had to hold hands). But he was pasaway enough to go the front (beside me) to be with his friends. I thought, Sana sabihin ni madam na kung sino yung nasa tapat mo, siya na yung partner mo… Out of an inexplicable good luck and right alignment of the stars, my teacher harassedly said, “Ano ba yan, ang gulu-gulo niyo! Sige, kung sino ang katabi niyo, siya na partner niyo!”. I’ll never forget that one. That was my first pangmamanyak. Haha!
4. My cousins had a neighbor who, let’s just say, has a resemblance with Ai-Ai. I did not have bad intentions nor did I have a good one, but it was just an honest question and I hope she held no grudge against me. See, I asked her out of nowhere, “Bakit ang pangit mo?”. I wonder, when would be the time I could keep things to myself?
5. Way back in junior kinder still, I ran away from my service and walked home alone twice. They weren’t there when I got out and I didn’t have the patience to wait so I decided to walk home. I remember hiding behind the wall when the driver went to our house and asked what happened to me (they looked for me till who knows when). The second time around, the guy was furious!
6. Did you know that I already had a tv appearance? Trust me, that is the most ridiculous reason to appear on tv. I had to avoid my classmates after that. For those who know what that is, just keep it to yourself, lalo ka na, Carlito.
7. Back in grade 3, my music teacher made pingot to me because I didn’t do my homework. There were other kids, but I was the only girl who dared. I think it’s not surprising that my only line of 7 in my gs is in music. Now do you believe that I’m lazy?
8. The proudest achievement I have ever made was having a perfect grade in penmanship when I was in grade 5.
9. I looked like a hermit when I was a kid. I would carry around with me always bags and plastics containing my “necessities” and I would wear a lampin on my head (like a nun) that would serve as my imaginary long hair. Now close your eyes and imagine.
10. The kids in my batch were too advanced or maybe I was simply naïve. Here’s an example:
Scenario: After classes
a grp of girls: (with sharp voices) Nakita mo ba yon? Yuck, si _____ di pa tule!
Ria (ako na ‘to!): Ha? Pano nyo nalaman?
A girl: E pinakita nya e!
Ria: >> Labas dila sabay tulo laway <<
How did they know that? We were only grade 3 at that time. Well, I was never interested in the first place.
11. Way back in grade 4, my history teacher assigned rows to report current events. When it was our row’s turn, nobody was ready. She made our row stand up and gave her stupid sermon I didn’t pay attention to. Then she approached me and said, “Bakit ka nagme-make face sakin, ha?”. Well, deny to death naman ang lola mo. Then she asked the class, “Talaga bang ganyan ang mukha ng classmate niyo?”
Guess what they answered.
“Ooopooo.”
In your stupid face, bitch!
12. Speaking of teachers, I always had this thing with most of my advisers. The last one I had in gs, my adviser must’ve thought that bossing around kids was a special privilege. She would make me fetch her kid from the other building, make me take the cake to the faculty room, who would ask me to send it back to her. My adviser would insist, so I’d take it there again, but they’ll tell me no thanks give it back to her… then she’s make me get her water…
I only have one question: Out of 40+ students, why me? You know why me? Because I was the only one hanging out inside the classroom. Stupid me.
13. Back in gr 5, I joined the chess club with another girl classmate. Surprise, surprise, we were the only girls in the club. I felt so awkward, plus my classmate was frequently absent, so imagine how out of place I was. Good looking guys could have helped, right? (read: none!)
14. I was chased by a dog because I was picking sampaguita flowers on other people’s garden.
15. Before junior kinder, I went to nursery school at the end of our street. I remember my teacher named teacher Susan who spanked me on the table because I was eating junk food. Hey, if you want to eat junk food, you don’t spank a three-year-old kid to get it. You have to use your own money, freak!
16. On the same school, they had this parade a la Ms. Universe style. I was Ms. Netherlands or some other far away country. I don’t know what got into me, but I started crying and slapping my auntie who was carrying me. She tried to pacify me calmly, but my tantrum’s getting out of hand so she dragged me home and got what I deserved. It must have been teacher Susan!
So there it is, my childhood experiences and some more I couldn't think of anymore. Maybe try waiting for the movie version, haha!
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